Fast forward to now and this weird limbo we're all in where our days are spent indoors. Everyone is working from home so they're all in the lounge, making that their office, and I've moved to the bedroom to give them privacy, space, and myself the freedom to watch videos or listen to music without headphones.
I have even less struture now. I get up on average at half eight though admittedly, I go to bed a bit later. I'm not waking up tired which is quite good, but even though I have energy, I don't seem to have motivation. I'm able to spend days on end watching Youtube videos. I have plenty of things I would like to do or try, but absolutely zero ability to start.
This isn't new for me. I've always struggled to motivate myself but now it's a constant battle without any of the usual markers giving me limits on my procrastination. I don't have the excuse of having work or Bard to walk or people to visit. So, in slow steps, what have I actually been filling my day with?
I've been watching a couple of new shows - demolished them, actually. Normal People and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. I finally crocheted a pot holder. That was pretty satisfying because I did that while listening to the Wizarding World's audio version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone being read by a range of celebrities.
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I think I'm slowly coming out of this slump. I'm waking up at 8am now, if not earlier. I'm exercising everyday - whereby 'exercise' means yoga for 20 minutes. But it's becoming routine and that's what I'm loving. I'm definitely getting better at my downward dogs! That's care of the Home series by Yoga With Adriene, and a bit of the app, Down Dog. I'm sketching more often and constantly cooking things with Sarah.
What changed for me then? I think I actually just underrated how much this whole thing affected me. All that time spent resting (that sounds nicer than 'being a lazy, no-good bum', doesn't it?) helped me reset and come to terms with everything (Covid, moving overseas, et al) and move on a bit. Plus, so many of the videos I've been watching by some of my favourite artists and creators revolved around how they're dealing with the lockdowns in their respective countries. Seeing how they are and aren't managing, and that it's okay to not be productive, to have the privelege of that option and be grateful for it.
So here's to coming out of Covid-19, not with a finished book or a new hardcore fitness regime, not with a better diet or a sketchbook full of loveliness, but an intact sense of okay-ness because we got through an awkward, weird and unprecedented time.
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